Wednesday, 21 November 2007

•  Every morning I wake up

  Monday I don't really remember what happened that day. Kitty and I were supposed to go to Sonny's house and get drunk. Sonny called me that afternoon to tell me that some chick would be there with Kevin. I told Kitty and she said she was fine. She assured me that she would be fine. She and I went to my house and made more oreo things and then went to Sonny's. First she and I wrestled for a while on the sofa. She kept hitting me with her collar so I took my studded belt off and chased her with it. We ran outside and I popped her on her inner thigh. I walked back inside triumphantly. She came back in and we decided to go outside and jump on the trampoline. We jumped around and sang and shouted and growled and commenced with more beatings. Sonny and Lee joined us outside to continue watching our antics. Kitty hit me a few times with her collar and I smacked her boob really hard. She doubled over for that one. I sat hitting myself in the back with my belt while we all sat there.

  With a new identity

  Kitty began to get angry and started throwing a little fit. She got up and started walking. I chased after her but had to run back to get my boots. I walked with her down the road while she whined and complained about how tragic her life is, once again. We got back and sat on the deck. Sonny and Lee tried to give her some advice and cheer her up a bit, but she began her rant again. I was so annoyed I went to my trunk and sat for a few moments. In that time, it felt like the world had stopped. I was so dizzy that nothing felt real. I got out of the trunk walked back to the deck and said "Let's go." Sonny went and got my things from inside and walked me to my car. We rode in silence. I didn't say goodbye. Sonny called me that night and we talked for a long while.

  With some new memories

  Tuesday there was no school because of elections. I didn't have much to do that day so I slept. After Sorian left school [he had gone to work on his project], I met him at his house. We went to an Asian market to get things for dinner. He saw people he knew there and a few relatives. The cashier gave me a discount. We went to his house to grab the last few things and then went to my house to cook. He started cutting chicken while I prepared other things. He stirred the sauce while I chopped vegetables and threw things in. He fried the chicken and I made fried rice. We used so many dishes. After dinner [which everybody loved] we made cookies. It was my turn to tell him what to do so I directed and he did. I gave him cookies to take home with him when he left. Shortly after he left, I heard one of our cell phones ringing. I walked around trying to find it, but I couldn't pinpoint the location. I then realized it was my phone in my back pocket. It was a message from Sorian telling me how excited his father was to see him and ask about his new girlfriend [me] and how his mother ate all the cookies.

  Of my former life

  Wednesday I didn't talk to Kitty very much. She received limited responses and no enthusiasm. I was supposed to go hang out with Sonny that night, but I got a bad stomach ache. I made Kevin cookies for his birthday and tried to eat some dinner as per Sonny's suggestion. Alas, it made me feel worse. I lay on my bed talking to him for the rest of the evening. He had a stomach ache as well and could not get warm [as are my usual symptoms]. We were both fairly pitiful that evening.

  All the thoughts I ever had

  Thursday I talked to Kitty a bit. I had work that evening. Friday was our Veteran's Day assembly. I finished some history work in Keyboarding and scoured the internet for hoodies and clothing in English. The assembly was really boring and so damn long. I was going to draw or do something else during it, but there were two teachers on the row in front of me so I could not. After school, I got Kitty and went to the bank and Walmart. On the way to Walmart, Kitty was scratching at the window and scared some old lady and a  redneck. At WalMart, we tried to tell the lady [who spoke very little English] what sort of cake I wanted. They had no red velvet in the size that I wanted. So I ended up getting a yellow cake. It had hot pink and vivid red scalloped trim and blue sprinkles, but she sprayed the entire things with blue, turning the pink into a violet and gave the red black edges. She drew a spider web on top and added three plastic spiders. They had no energy drinks, so we got the cake and left.

  All the memories I can recite

  We got lost on the way to Johnny's house, so I called him and he told us to meet him at the mall. We drove back and sat in the parking lot waiting for Johnny. She and I got out of the car and she shouted as we did so. We ran to the entrance laughing. Johnny appeared behind us and we said hello. We ran to the bathroom and back to Johnny. We went to our respective cars after deciding that he would lead us out. I had been having fits of anger all evening and shouting the entire way to Chesterfield. "Go! Why are you driving so slowly?!" "Green means go!" "Drive faster!" "Fucking fuck!" All of which were said in a loud voice or a high pitched one that was absolutely comical. As we sat in the parking lot, Kitty continued with my screaming as a group of scene kids walked by. One little scene boy was had just begun to walk away from his group when she screamed. He looked at us and ran. We drove off and passed the rest of the scene group. I pointed and laughed, Kitty screamed, and one scene girl flashed us. We followed Johnny to his house; Kitty and I laughed at his driving the entire way there.

  Are just an illusion

  At Johnny's, I fell out of the car laughing and Kitty followed suit. We climbed into Johnny's vehicle and tried to buckle our seatbelts. Unfortunately, the back seatbelts don't work, so we held onto one another. Johnny drove us to Prince George to get Joshy. That was our fist time meeting him. We went to Walmart to check for energy drinks, but they had none at that one either. We ran through electronics and fabrics. We played with tiny bikes and hula hoops and strutted off. Joshy ran across the tops of the shopping carts to touch a letter and then Johnny threw him on top of his vehicle. We went to Pizza Hut after that.

  Implanted in my brain

  We went inside and were seated. I was the only one ordering food [for myself and Kitty], but Johnny got breadsticks so the waitress would shut up. We discussed various things until our food arrived. Johhny said his breadsticks looked like somebody had rubbed their sweaty balls on them so we dubbed them 'Nut Sticks'. He also said mine weren't as bad, so it was probably just a vagina. Hell with what he said, they were delicious and crispy. So we then discussed how sweaty balls would still allow for them to be so crispy. We finished our meal and left. Johnny jumped through a bush and landed in a ditch. Kitty and I huddled in the back seat and we went back to Joshy's house. Kitty and I sat together while Johnny and Joshy played guitar and we all watched 'Chowder'. That show is like Foster's on drugs. It's pretty crazy. Joshy gave Kitty a back massage and we left. I was so cold and tired at that point, I fell asleep in the vehicle. Kitty gave me her hoodie as well, but I was still cold. I woke up to the sound of screeching tires. We had stalled, but we were alright.

  And even the city changes

  Back at Johnny's house, he gave us some directions to get home. Unfortunately, I still got us lost due to a confusion. We thought were going the right way, decided it was wrong and turned around. We stopped at a gas station and filled my car. Kitty went and asked for directions. Some girl was going to VCU campus and said we could follow her down there, but go straight after the second turn. We did this and learned that we had been going the proper way to begin with [almost]. We followed her downtown and stopped at a red light. I rolled my window down to thank her and she said I needed to make this turn and then continue straight. So she waited when the light turned green and let me get in front of her. Because of her kindness, I managed to get home [far later than expected].

  With new buildings and new roads

  Saturday I got up and got partially dressed before going down to breakfast. BahBah asked if I would help him at Kalmia that day and I agreed. Right after we finished cleaning up, Josh called and asked if I could cover a shift for a n00b that day. I agreed and Kitty and I ran to get ready. I dropped her off and went to work. At work I received two calls. One from Sonny and one from my mother. I checked them and tried to respond during my break, but there was no answer. After work, I went home and lounged about for a while. Sonny called and we established plans for the evening, at least basic ones. The plan was to get me a cheeseburger and go see Saw IV.

  But I really cannot tell

  I got there and we sat in his room and listened to music for a while. We then went down to Five Guys. I don't remember what I discussed, but I remember a conversation about sugar, double-dipping, and burger toppings. After our meal, we sat in his car to warm up and decide what to do next. We had a fair amount of time before the movie, but not enough to really do anything. So we went to Blockbuster and got Pan's Labyrinth and Pathfinder and returned to his house. We sat in Jacob's room and watched the movies before I had to leave and go home. Pan's Labyrinth was in Spanish with subtitles, had two plots intertwined, and a group of rebels. I raised my little fist and shouted 'viva la revolution!' I left at my designated time and went home.

  If its just an illusion

  Sunday I got up and went with BahBah to Kalmia. We stopped and got breakfast on the way. Upon our arrival, I turned the thermostat up and walked in circles until I was warm enough to work. I did a bit of sweeping before helping BahBah paint the bathroom. That was my first time painting and we did a pretty good job. I even helped hang hooks and holders. After we finished what we could, we left. I was supposed to meet my mother for lunch so I called her. There was no answer so I chilled at the house. I reinstalled the Sims 2 and began a new character [who looks like my old one]. I accomplished a fair amount with him that day.

  Implanted illusions is all-

  Monday was fairly normal. I went with BahBah that afternoon to finish Kalmia. We met the new tenants there and finished repairs. The two daughters kept staring at me. They smiled and waved though. I suppose they were simply curious. After a while, there was nothing left for me to do, so I played Block Breaker on my phone for a long while. I more than tripled my old high score. That game is really boring, but I didn't have anything else to do. After we left, I went home and at two breadsticks before working on history homework and the like. There was a shower and bed afterwards.

  that I can remember

  Tuesday was pretty good. I sat with Sorian in design and worked on my felting. I finished most of my three figures and layered most of the roving for the table. In history, we took two quizzes and notes. Before the end of the period, the fire alarm went off so we had to evacuate the building. I ate my crackers while we stood outside. I saw a fire truck and gave a shout of glee. Shortly after its arrival, we were allowed back inside. Unfortunately, it was a small electrical fire in the shop downstairs so no serious damage. There was a movie and an essay in fifth and a test in seventh. After school, I went home and tidied the house a bit and began some homework before Sorian got there. Upon his arrival, we made dinner for the five of us. He hadn't had homemade french toast or smokies before, but he enjoyed them. We sat and talked for a while after dinner during which time he instructed me on a few basic Chinese etiquette rules for the next week. He left and I worked on Art History homework until I took a shower.

  Stolen thoughts of a time

  Wednesday I wasn't feeling too great. I just wasn't in a great mood. After school I went with Aaron and Ryan to McDonald's. I got a McFlurry and they got various other things. Then we discussed how processed the meat was and whether or not a fetus was processed. I said fetuses could not possibly be processed because they're homegrown in a warm and loving environment. After our meal, we parted and I went home to chill with my headphones on. Thursday I was supposed to meet my mother for my belated birthday dinner after school. I forgot about art club so I went to that after I forgot again. In art club we were making an abstract piece. We all threw paint on a piece of canvas and then I got the idea that somebody should lay down on it. Sara took her shoes and such off and lay down. We threw paint all over her. As we were beginning to clean up, my phone rang. It was Alan calling to tell me that my mother had dislocated her jaw and would have to reschedule the dinner for another evening. Friday was a normal day. I went to work after school and talked to Sonny when he got home [as I do every night].

  When I met you last November
  

  Saturday morning I went to Sorian's house and we ate brunch. We had ginger pasta and meat buns. We watched some cheesy Asian vampire horror flick. We made a jasmine tea and I helped his father season ducks for Thanksgiving dinner. We ate a lunch of cheese and broccoli chicken kiev. After I left, I chilled at my house for a short while and then went to work. After work, Sonny and I decided to get together. I went to his house around midnight. He brought me nachos so I assembled a small portion and ate them. We watched television for a while before getting up to get drinks. I drank some gin and tonic and decided that it tasted bad without the lime so we went to Walmart to get me limes. Upon our arrival, we found somebody that Sonny knew and upon our leaving, we saw somebody that shopped at Hot Topic. We went back to his house and I tried to fix the proportions on my drink, but alas, I could not. It still had an odd alcohol-pine taste. We noticed that the tonic had expired so that accounted for some of it. I still drank it though. I began to get light-headed; a feeling which I'm quite fond of. We went upstairs and watched Eddie Izzard for a while. After a long while we slept.

  Now, theres just confusion-

  Sonny woke up in a cold sweat. He changed his shirt, sat for a while, and then went back to sleep. I awoke several times through then night and lay awake restlessly. Finally I got up and made certain that I was still pretty and crept back to the bed and lay there staring at the ceiling. After Sonny woke up, we watched The Labyrinth, music videos, a portion of Tenacious D, and Party Monster. I got so excited I almost creamed my jeans [ell oh fucking ell]. I finally left around four and chilled at my house for the rest of the day. I slept until that evening. I had been dizzy and had a stomach ache all day, so I tried to eat thinking that would make me feel a bit better. Alas, it did not. I felt worse than I had before. I lay back down and talked to Sonny for a while.

  at this place without a sun

  Monday I woke up feeling poorly. I had a tragic stomach ache and headache. I went to school though. Later my pains were accompanied by dizziness and nausea. I made it through the day and lay down as soon as I got home. Sonny and I were supposed to hang out that night, but I was certainly in no condition to do anything. He ran an errand and called me when he got back. We talked very briefly and I went back to sleep. I slept until nine thirty. I got up and took a shower and then went back to my bed and called Sonny. I still didn’t' feel well at that point. Lying down only made the pain worse [it was centered at the base of my sternum and felt like the flesh was being ripped from my bones by hand although it had begun to stretch across my body]. My other ailments had decreased in intensity slightly, though they still plagued me. My skin burned but my insides were cold; I was so tired and could sleep no more. I shook incessantly. I felt so bad that I wanted to cry. Sonny had been feeling poorly since Sunday as well, but he had been vomiting. He was extremely tired but insisted that he talk to me until I fell asleep. He finally got off the phone at three o'clock. I paced my room for a while before trying to sleep again. After and hour or so, I slept for about an hour and woke up again. I lay awake for an hour and slept for a few more minutes before my alarm went off.

  I try so hard to escape

  Tuesday I got up and got dressed for school after my restless night. I was ready for school twenty minutes earlier than usual. I still had a dreadful stomach ache but my spirits were oddly high. I was chipper throughout the day though plagues by pain and lacking sustenance. I had not eaten since Sunday evening. Everyone was a bit worried, but I refused all food. After school I met my mother for dinner. I was surprised to see my grandmother and Taylor there as well, but I was pleased. We went inside and ate. I tried to teach my mother Spanish while she showed the dog off to everyone. Dinner was delicious. They brought me fried ice cream which was fantastic. I'd not had it before and although it had coconut in the shell I still loved it. The waiter brought me balloons that my mother had them hide before dinner. We chatted for a long while before we all departed. I went to my grandmother's house and chatted with them for a while and got my birthday card. I left shortly thereafter and went home.

  Theres no place to which to run

  At home I was restless and decided to dye my hair. Diane accompanied me to Walmart to get the few groceries and hair dye and such. At home I was till angry that I had no place to park at my own damn house. I went inside and talked to Sonny briefly; he still felt bad as did I and he wanted to see me. I threw my laundry into the washer and dyed my hair and tidied the bathroom while I waited. I couldn't get the hair dye to wash out and I ran out of hot water before I could finish. I called Sonny after I finished all my tasks as I had said that I would. I still had the same symptoms as the night before [though not so greatly] and decided to walk. He came over to walk about with me.

  And suddenly, it hits me

  I met him outside and we walked around the block and sat on the ground. It was cold so we went and sat in his car for a short while and listened to music. When it was time for him to leave, his car wouldn't start. I walked back over and asked what the problem was. He tried again and it failed. We waited a while hoping the battery would charge enough for it to start. It didn't so I had to go get my car and give him a jump. It worked and he left. The entire night I was worried about Bahbah waking up and getting mad at me and possibly punishing me. My car was parked beside his bedroom, and Sonny's car is loud as fuck, so that was really bad. I crept back inside and hurriedly got into bed. I was shaking with cold and anxiousness and my continuing pains. Sonny called me when he got home as he said that he would. We talked for a while until about three o'clock.

  That there was no sun for years

  

   

   

  

  The illusions fade away

  Making room for reality

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