Tuesday, 15 January 2008

•  Blood red lips traced with a tongue they shine,

  Yeah. About the whole blog thing. Chyeah. My bad. I got way too busy and didn't get time to update it, so now I'm going to try to.

  December 4-6: Tuesday I worked on my term paper after school until I went to bed. Wednesday I worked after school until we closed. Thursday in government class we had to make commercials encouraging voting in the youth. So my group made one about 'Voting is Sexy'. Megan and I held a banner and Aaron walked over and looked at us. When he put his ballot in, we cooed at him and 'Baby Love' began to play. The rest of our girls strutted out and began caressing him. Then we all turned and Aaron said "Voting is the new Sexy" and we all gave a thumbs up. After school, I had art club. We made little groups to make small wooden spoon ornaments to tie on treat bags. My group made santas. We made some with extra eyes or missing eyes and crazy faces. We also made some elves with similar deformities. After art club ended, I went to Danny's house. He and I watched the Boondock Saints and then went to Arby's for dinner. BahBah had called during the movie to ask me about mixers. It ended up being a debate about what color I wanted and that didn't really matter to me. Either way, I got my fucking mixer. After dinner, we returned to his house and played Worms on the Xbox. I hadn't played in so long, but it was fun.

  You feel like home up aginst me so close,

  December 7-8: After school, Sonny and I went to see 'Dan in Real Life' and went to dinner at Red Robin. I was being my annoying bitchy self and laughed and stared menacingly at him when he held my hands. After dinner, we returned to my house and I made cookies with my new mixer. Saturday Kitty and I were on our way to Essex when I called Sonny and asked if he wanted to join us. He was asleep, so he was reluctant, but he said he'd go. Kitty and I sat at the nearby gas station store and waited. We walked in and went to the bathroom and primped. After Sonny called, we drove around the corner to get him and returned to the gas station to get him a drink. Then we were on our way. It took forever and I called BahBah to ask about it because I thought we were lost. We weren't, we just hadn't gone far enough. We got there and walked through the Goodwill and the antique mall. We played dress-up with the clothes and I decided I want a black fur coat or shawl or something. We got back to Sonny's house later and watched 'Superbad'. It really wasn't that great. After that, I returned home, made peanut butter cookies and slept for the rest of the day.

  There's still so much that we still don't know,

  December 9-14: Sunday I baked goodies all day. There were so many and I wasn't even done yet. Monday after school I had to work until close like usual. Tuesday I stayed home sick. I was going to just make one batch of cookies for BahBah to take to work, but I decided to finish the rest of the holiday baking while I was off. I couldn't bear the thought of wasting more time. That night was my two month anniversary with Sonny. Wednesday after school I went with Sonny. We went to Moe's for dinner. I didn’t' eat, but Travis paid for Sonny's dinner. He had the nerve to triple dip and crumble chips onto the table. I sat across from him shaking in horror. Travis sat with us for a while and then we went outside. I gave him one of the cheesecake nibbles I had made. He showed me his tying shoelace trick. After we left we went back to Sonny's house and watched 'The Ninth Gate'. Thursday after school I had art club; we finished the little spoon creatures and treat bags for the faculty. After that I had work until close. Friday my term paper was due; I had managed to finish it in time. After school I ran errands with BahBah; we went to the bank, the mall, and Walmart. I got my holiday shopping done and BahBah got me some pants. That night I was supposed to go with Danny to watch meteors and have a picnic, but I never got in touch with him. I dreamed of meteors that night.

  But I'm fairly certain that we just might work out right.

  December 15-17: Saturday I made a small fabric image of myself; it turned out fairly nice. I worked from four thirty to nine that day. Sunday I wrapped gifts all day and did various baking and cleaning things. I even got to wrap some of my own gifts. When BahBah left, I wrapped Erik's gifts for BahBah in the shape of a giant penis. Monday after school, we had dinner at Maggiano's. Sonny was supposed to be at my house at about a quarter to five. He called a few minute to five to tell me he was on his way. I told BahBah and the others to leave so they could keep our reservations. Erik was supposed to be meeting us there, but he showed up at the house and I sent him the other way. Sonny finally arrived close to a quarter after five. I was so mad that I didn't even greet him. I walked out stood there and then walked to my car. He and I got in and hurried off. I got off on the wrong exit and Sonny told me a few minutes later so I had to turn around. Even with all of that, I managed to arrive at the restaurant fifteen minutes after our reservations had been planned for. I was still peeved all evening, but I managed to enjoy myself. BahBah finally asked his age. After dinner, Sonny and I ran to Walmart to get me more baking supplies.

  You tell me that love don't last,

  December 18-24: Tuesday after school was the Sweeney Todd premier. We sat with Lisa while we waited and ran in to the top when they opened the gates. We got free posters, post cards, and buttons. It was a fantastic movie. Wednesday was the first day of winter break; I worked five to eleven. Thursday I worked eleven to seven thirty and Friday I worked one thirty to six thirty. I ran errands before work and Sonny and I didn't see each other as we had previously made tentative plans for. Saturday I worked from seven to three thirty. After work, Sonny and I went to Taco Bell and stayed at his house and watched Metalocalypse. Sunday I had exchanged my shift with Fallon so I worked six to ten and she worked Christmas Eve for me. I spent that day baking and cooking. I happened to kick my foot fairly badly on the door and thought I had broken my toe. Fortunately, it only seems to be a sprain.

  I turn you over and look in your eyes,

  December 25-26: On Christmas day, I got up and dressed and went downstairs. I ate dinner with the family and then we opened our gifts. I got nearly everything I had requested [as usual] and a few interesting things I hadn't. I did get my DDR set but couldn't play because of the injured foot. I chilled in my room for a while and then helped BahBah with lunch. After we ate, we stayed around the house for a few hours and then Erik, Ashley, and I went to grandmother's house for those celebrations. I received money and a chia pet there. My grandmother remembered me mentioning that I had always wanted one; it made me quite happy. We all sat around and chatted and ate snacks for a few hours before we left. I was so mad all day because the stores were closed and I needed a few things. The following day I worked from twelve to four thirty. Before work I had run to Macy's and bought and adorable off-the-shoulder black sweater. After work I got a few things I needed at Target but didn’t' dare go to Ukrop's.

  Promise you that this is forever

  December 27-30: Thursday I went to Walmart to grab a few things I had forgotten and made cookies before I went to Sonny's house. He wasn't there when I arrived so I chatted with Lynn and then went to sit inside with Travis and Rachel. I had brought a large platter of treats and Kevin swore they said 'Not For Kevin' on the top though I promised they didn't. He asked me specifically if he could eat it and I told him he could. Sonny arrived and I waited for him to shower and shave. After he did that, we went to his room and watched Saw IV since we hadn't gotten to. Friday I worked five thirty to ten thirty, Saturday I worked two to ten thirty, and Sunday I worked two to seven.

  Or till one of us dies.

  December 31: I worked two to seven on New Year's Eve. I had wanted to go out to eat all weekend, but I couldn't find anybody to join me. I was so depressed that night. I ordered pizza and chilled at the house with Erik, Ashley, and Whiplash. I was drinking daiquiri malt when the doorbell rang and I ran to answer it. The man told me it was the fastest response time he had ever seen. I ran back to the kitchen and greedily ate my pizza. I finished the daiquiri malt I was working on and opened another. Ashley had opened a Jack Daniel's Lemonade and didn’t' like it, so I sat with the daiquiri in one hand and the lemonade in the other and drank them. After I finished both of those, I decided I wanted a Kahlua shake so Erik and I made those. I didn't realize how strong the liqueur was so I ended up with a huge shake which I drank out of the blender. Jeremy had called so I talked to him while drinking and talking and later while I was on AIM. I had to help Josh open the next morning so I went to bed shortly after midnight feeling only tipsy.

  You taste like tear stains

  January 1-7: On New Year's Day I worked from nine to five. Wednesday was the first day back from school and Thursday was uneventful. On Friday Kitty and I went to Shoe Carnival and then to O Charley's. We sat in the bar area and ate our food. I was so excited to be dining out that I ate way too much. We made up a song about faking our birthday to get free cake. After dinner, we went to my house and made chocolate peanut butter cupcakes, oreo cupcakes, and sambusak. Oscar called and he joined us. After we finished cleaning up, we watched Spice World. Saturday I worked one to nine thirty and Sunday I helped BahBah clean the garage out and played DDR finally. I didn’t' do too badly. Monday I worked from five to nine thirty.

  And could have beens,

  January 8-9: I had tried to twitch shifts with Jay Bear on Tuesday since it was my three month anniversary, but I didn't get in touch with him in time. Since I didn't get to finish my homework, I went in to school late on Wednesday and we didn't discuss the work that day. After school, Sonny came over and we sat on my sofa in near silence. I got up and went to my room to get my shoes and then motioned for Sonny to follow me outside. I told him that we should take a drive so we jumped in the car. We went to Kitty's and picked her up. She was supposed to go with Evan to Sammy and Andrew's so we went there. I got to see my brother and Kitty finally got to meet him. Andrew and Sonny immediately started playing guitar hero so Kitty and I went to sit outside. Oscar called and asked if we wanted to go do something. I walked inside and asked Sonny for the keys since we had left our purses in his car. He thought we were leaving and I told him he could stay. I hugged Andrew and ran out to the car. I was getting it unlocked when Sonny came out to tell me that it only opened one door. I got our purses and walked to where Kitty was talking with Sammy and Evan. Oscar pulled up and we hopped in. We went to Wawa and then drove around the block and back to Wawa. We went to Kitty's house and chilled watching television.

  But I love a good train wreck.

  January 10: Thursday I stayed home. I went to the doctor that morning to get a physical. It took me over two hours because I couldn't piss in that damn cup and they can't do anything until I do that. It really didn't make sense, but whatever. They told me that I'm not anemic [it could be thyroids], it is keratosis pilaris, and that I can take pills for a gastric ulcer. After that I went with Erik and Ashley to KFC-Taco Bell for lunch. I finished my art history work and a few other things that night. I returned Sonny's phone call; he was upset and said we should take a break. I believe more in 'break-up' or 'not at all' but I wasn't really in the mindset to discuss anything so I said something like "That's fine, whatever."

  Your hair balled up inside my fist,

  January 11: Friday after school Kitty, Pareesa, and I went to Hot Topic to pick up my schedule and then Michael's. We got supplies to decorate tee shirts for Prom Queen. Back at my house, we ate dinner that my brother had made. After dinner, we went to my room and I gave them the two bags of clothes I had, we went through my jewelry, nail polish, shoes, and a box of assorted things. I got rid of a lot more and they took some. We then went downstairs to work on tee shirts. We had a common design, but each was slightly different. Sonny called while we were working and asked if I had checked Myspace and I told him that I hadn't. He said he had sent me a message that would make me giggle so I should check. I did when I went upstairs. A confession letter; he loves me. I returned to Kitty and Pareesa and we nearly finished the shirts. The fabric markers were dying quickly, so I gave Pareesa the other markers I had found and she took hers home. I called Sonny back after I got home and took my shower.

  You tell me don't get too attatched

  January 12: Saturday I spent the day around the house cleaning out my room. Theodore called and asked if he could stop by, I said he could so we stood and chatted for a short while. BahBah and Erik arrived with another load of mulch and Erik handed Theodore a fork and told him to help. I told him they would be fine, but Theodore helped regardless. BahBah called me a player and stuck his hand out [to get some 'skin']. I returned inside and cleaned the kitchen and then went back to my room. I left to take Kitty to work [there was a big fight with her parents] and returned home and went back to work. Theodore sat with me a while until Sonny called. I sent him home after that and went back to work. Sonny came over after he took a nap and we watched 'Spirited Away' and 'Princess Mononoke'. I made fried rice between the two and fell asleep during the latter one.

  Like this is just entertainment.

  January 13-15: Sunday I slept in late. When I got up, I went with BahBah to run errands. We went to Waffle House for lunch and then went to Walmart and the mall. After the errands, I worked on homework for the rest of the night. I did my current event and finished all of Othello using Spark Notes. Monday after school I had work. I made a sale of five hundred twenty-two dollars and sixty-three cents. That was enough to nearly double what we had made that day and almost make plan for the night. I made a few more big sales and we beat plan. Deb [our district manager] was there and congratulated me and told Josh to show me how to send out an email about it. Cyndi [our regional manager] sent a reply email congratulating me. Deb had me tell Lisa and Chantal when they showed up. Deb ordered us pizzas and bought drinks since most of us would be there until early the next morning for inventory. Before I left, I worked on precounting. After work, I went home and worked on this blog. Today after school I finished this blog and will likely play a game for a while; as a treat for being ahead.

  Then again it could go up in flames,

  Unfortunately, however, I've reverted back to the whole 'anorexic-binge-eating-whore' thing. I'm just not hungry very often. When I am, I never feel like eating; it just isn’t' appealing. Some nights I eat just to keep up appearances for the people that bitch and worry. I ate a piece of bread one night and hated myself for it. I was afraid I'd eat more that night if I didn't trick myself into being full. I didn't want to hate myself all the more. I knew I would feel ill after I ate and would be mad because I already knew that I would feel that way and I did it nonetheless. It's so confusing. There are all sorts of food in the refrigerator and none of it appeals to me. It's almost depressing. We found a piece of land. And we've got our builder to put a contract on it. We've finished the house plans and picked major elements of the house. So we should be moving in by the second week in June. I'm really excited. That's why we've been so busy cleaning and disposing of things. We're in 'purge' mode again. I'm getting down to sheer 'necessity' and it delights me.  

  And I'll take you down in the name of love.

  

  

  

  

  

  

  

  Maybe one last kiss just to ease the pain

  All or nothing it's written in blood

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