January:

I played Puzzle Pirates a lot. My exams were that month. I began having blackouts this month. They make me late and have to cancel things. I've been to the doctor for it and taken MRI's and the like. They don't really know anything except that there is a ninety-one percent depression in one ear that really affects my balance and triggers my vertigo. Stress seems to cause the blackouts as well. BahBah and I ran a lot of errands looking for things to do with the house. It still hasn't been started yet. We're working on it though. We started our Waffle Club this month. It's still going on.

February:

Sonny and I had our four month anniversary early this month. Sorian and I spent a lot of time together and continued the Waffle Club. Kitty, Pareesa and I hung out a lot. I helped paint sets for the school play. I died my hair red and black before our Hot Topic dinner at Buffalo Wild Wings. I made BahBah his birthday dinner as usual. I missed my great grandmother's funeral. I went to New York on a school trip. The first day was terrible; it was cold and snowing and I didn't get real food and I was just miserable. Late that night I went down to the hotel bar to get a cheeseburger, O'Neal walked in after me to check on me and he got a cheeseburger as well and paid for mine. He takes care of me. The next day of the trip was better. We went shopping and found some cool things. I had my headphones on during the bus ride, but occasionally I would hear screams from the movie and I would jump up and shout 'Is she having a miscarriage?!' Nobody else thought it was that funny. I broke up with Sonny on the twenty-second.

March:

This month I spent a lot of time with Jeremy. I even went out to Dinwiddie. I hit a deer while I was in Dinwiddie. I laughed so hard. It bounced off my car like a plastic toy. We had to take my car to the shop, but it's fine. Sorian and I continued the Waffle Club. I worked a lot after school and I made a pattern for my prom ensemble and tested it out. I made a pencil skirt with a detachable bustle and an underbust corset out of navy and black gatorskin moleskin. Doug came up to Richmond with Jeremy and we chilled. I watched a lot of movies on Sundays as breaks.

April:

I spent some time with Eric this month as well as Kitty. Sorian and I continued our Waffle Club. I met my mother one day for lunch and a movie. I started talking to Kitty's cousin whom we refer to as 'Hubby Bear'. I went to see Dr. Farmer at VCU to discuss transfer courses. I found the love that is Chowder this month. One day when we didn't have to go to school, Kitty, Alyx, and I went down to Dinwiddie. We had the principal call O'Neal to tell her we weren't crazy killer and she let us in. We strutted around the school all day and made a huge scene. They took pictures of us for their yearbooks and we scared a lot of people. We got asked into a few rooms to talk to the kids about ourselves and some of the teachers had to question our ensembles. After school we went to get some ice cream and then headed home.

May:

Prom was the first weekend. Kitty never showed up. We finally got in touch with her because she didn't have the decency to call and tell me she wasn't going to show. I didn't get prom queen, but it was still fun. We went to Waffle House for a club meeting and I changed in the parking lot of the bank. I spent a few days with Jeremy and a few with Eric. I had my Art History exam this month. Those ladies were bitches and they thought we were crazy rude. They sent a letter to Masterson and she yelled at us. I played billiards with Kitty, Bao, and Alyx one day. The Art Picnic was fun. We all sat around and ate good food and drew together and talked about our futures. Graduation practice was so boring and I tripped. Our final senior meeting was so boring as well. We had our picnic afterwards which was horrid. It was so hot and there were only hot dogs and burgers to ear, both were grossed processed products so I didn't get food. I tried to play volleyball in my platforms, but that failed. Billie had Sarah throw her water on my so I stomped over, shouted at her, and kicked her. I got a bit tanned. Jeremiah and I were the Most Artistic again like we were in eighth grade. We took our picture on the sidewalk. I got an interesting museum project for the final Art History assignment. We had to pick at least twenty pieces of art and a building all within the budget. I got a one hundred as my grade. I spent all of one day from about seven in the morning to late that afternoon to help my mother with a yard sale. It was a long and hot day, and I had work afterwards.

June:

I had my final exams this month. Graduation was lame and dreadfully long. I wore all black under my dress and stripped once it ended. I got some looks, some comments, some pictures, and a bible thrown at me. Kitty went with us to Ruby Tuesday for dinner; I actually got a little steak. I worked at least three days a week at this point because of my availability. We had a Hot Topic party at Coldstone on Father's day. I made BahBah a dinner of little Cornish hens and a key lime cheesecake. I went with BahBah to Chili's for dinner one night and then to Friendly's with Sorian, Ashley, and Christine. We were all wearing sunglasses and it was around eleven or so and we were getting huge ice cream sundaes. The glasses and the laughing definitely tipped them off that some of us were under the influence. After that we went to Mc'Donald's. I played Castlevania and watched a lot of Metalocalypse this month. I spent some time with Eric and Sorian this month. I chatted with Ian [Mookie] on cam a lot. Erik and I went to Potomac Mills for a day. That was a lot of fun. I didn't find anything too great, but I got some yummy candy and got a lot of comments and looks. Sorian and I started our night drives this month. We call each other and go get Slurpees and then go for a drive to relax.

July:

I chatted with Ian on Cam and Sorian and I continued to have our Waffle Club. My great aunt died this month and we had to go to Lexington for the funeral. I got a lot of comments and looks again. I spent a day with my step-brother one day. We went to River City Diner and to see a movie. It was a pleasant day. I played Dynasty Warriors obsessively this month. BahBah had surgery on his hand, so I was taking care of him. I spent a lot of time doing puzzles; I quite enjoy them. I switched majors this month; now I'm a Culinary and Pastry Arts major. I'm going to get both degrees through JSRCC. I had a social gathering one day. I made some tiny pizza, cheese rolls, petit fours, and rainbow cookies for it. The other kids were late and brought random things. We ended up playing Twister which was hilarious. Aaron had his birthday this month. I made him orange and chocolate cookies for the party. There was a watergun fight, but I was in the 'No Splash Zone'. I had a tiny little black water pistol in my hand though [they couldn't see it].

August:

The family reunion was the first weekend of the month. I made an éclair cake for everyone. The group and food selection were small this year, it was very sad. I made a tutu for the trip to go with my big platform boots with the metal plated buckles. I played My Sims all day every day [except for work time] for about a week. It was a great game, I loved it, I beat it. Sorian got asked to help plan a wedding, so I with that. Sorian and I spent a ton of time together this month and we still do. The Waffle Club is smaller now that everyone is away for college. I watched all of Cowboy Bebop. We hired a few new people at Hot Topic. David is really cool; I dig him. We've spent quite a few nights getting slurpees and chilling together. Ian sold his Xbox 360 Elite to come see me for a few days. He stayed with Sorian and I spent all day with them. We had to run a few errands, but we did a lot of chilling and the like. We went to Peking on the last day and I sat attentively and watched everybody. I got two small plates of food before my ice cream. I leaned over the counter to Sorian's father and said 'BahBah, may I have some vanilla ice cream?' He beckoned me around the counter and grabbed a big glass and filled it with ice cream for me. I got sick towards the end of one week. I still went to help everyone get ready for the wedding with Sorian. Then I dipped out to help David with their show. I was a roadie for the day. His friends are crazy and silly and I love them. I began school that week. Yoga was my first class. Sanitation was the next class. That weekend was my first Culinary class.

 Blood red lips traced with a tongue they shine,

Yeah. About the whole blog thing. Chyeah. My bad. I got way too busy and didn't get time to update it, so now I'm going to try to.

December 4-6: Tuesday I worked on my term paper after school until I went to bed. Wednesday I worked after school until we closed. Thursday in government class we had to make commercials encouraging voting in the youth. So my group made one about 'Voting is Sexy'. Megan and I held a banner and Aaron walked over and looked at us. When he put his ballot in, we cooed at him and 'Baby Love' began to play. The rest of our girls strutted out and began caressing him. Then we all turned and Aaron said "Voting is the new Sexy" and we all gave a thumbs up. After school, I had art club. We made little groups to make small wooden spoon ornaments to tie on treat bags. My group made santas. We made some with extra eyes or missing eyes and crazy faces. We also made some elves with similar deformities. After art club ended, I went to Danny's house. He and I watched the Boondock Saints and then went to Arby's for dinner. BahBah had called during the movie to ask me about mixers. It ended up being a debate about what color I wanted and that didn't really matter to me. Either way, I got my fucking mixer. After dinner, we returned to his house and played Worms on the Xbox. I hadn't played in so long, but it was fun.

You feel like home up aginst me so close,

December 7-8: After school, Sonny and I went to see 'Dan in Real Life' and went to dinner at Red Robin. I was being my annoying bitchy self and laughed and stared menacingly at him when he held my hands. After dinner, we returned to my house and I made cookies with my new mixer. Saturday Kitty and I were on our way to Essex when I called Sonny and asked if he wanted to join us. He was asleep, so he was reluctant, but he said he'd go. Kitty and I sat at the nearby gas station store and waited. We walked in and went to the bathroom and primped. After Sonny called, we drove around the corner to get him and returned to the gas station to get him a drink. Then we were on our way. It took forever and I called BahBah to ask about it because I thought we were lost. We weren't, we just hadn't gone far enough. We got there and walked through the Goodwill and the antique mall. We played dress-up with the clothes and I decided I want a black fur coat or shawl or something. We got back to Sonny's house later and watched 'Superbad'. It really wasn't that great. After that, I returned home, made peanut butter cookies and slept for the rest of the day.

There's still so much that we still don't know,

December 9-14: Sunday I baked goodies all day. There were so many and I wasn't even done yet. Monday after school I had to work until close like usual. Tuesday I stayed home sick. I was going to just make one batch of cookies for BahBah to take to work, but I decided to finish the rest of the holiday baking while I was off. I couldn't bear the thought of wasting more time. That night was my two month anniversary with Sonny. Wednesday after school I went with Sonny. We went to Moe's for dinner. I didn’t' eat, but Travis paid for Sonny's dinner. He had the nerve to triple dip and crumble chips onto the table. I sat across from him shaking in horror. Travis sat with us for a while and then we went outside. I gave him one of the cheesecake nibbles I had made. He showed me his tying shoelace trick. After we left we went back to Sonny's house and watched 'The Ninth Gate'. Thursday after school I had art club; we finished the little spoon creatures and treat bags for the faculty. After that I had work until close. Friday my term paper was due; I had managed to finish it in time. After school I ran errands with BahBah; we went to the bank, the mall, and Walmart. I got my holiday shopping done and BahBah got me some pants. That night I was supposed to go with Danny to watch meteors and have a picnic, but I never got in touch with him. I dreamed of meteors that night.

But I'm fairly certain that we just might work out right.

December 15-17: Saturday I made a small fabric image of myself; it turned out fairly nice. I worked from four thirty to nine that day. Sunday I wrapped gifts all day and did various baking and cleaning things. I even got to wrap some of my own gifts. When BahBah left, I wrapped Erik's gifts for BahBah in the shape of a giant penis. Monday after school, we had dinner at Maggiano's. Sonny was supposed to be at my house at about a quarter to five. He called a few minute to five to tell me he was on his way. I told BahBah and the others to leave so they could keep our reservations. Erik was supposed to be meeting us there, but he showed up at the house and I sent him the other way. Sonny finally arrived close to a quarter after five. I was so mad that I didn't even greet him. I walked out stood there and then walked to my car. He and I got in and hurried off. I got off on the wrong exit and Sonny told me a few minutes later so I had to turn around. Even with all of that, I managed to arrive at the restaurant fifteen minutes after our reservations had been planned for. I was still peeved all evening, but I managed to enjoy myself. BahBah finally asked his age. After dinner, Sonny and I ran to Walmart to get me more baking supplies.

You tell me that love don't last,

December 18-24: Tuesday after school was the Sweeney Todd premier. We sat with Lisa while we waited and ran in to the top when they opened the gates. We got free posters, post cards, and buttons. It was a fantastic movie. Wednesday was the first day of winter break; I worked five to eleven. Thursday I worked eleven to seven thirty and Friday I worked one thirty to six thirty. I ran errands before work and Sonny and I didn't see each other as we had previously made tentative plans for. Saturday I worked from seven to three thirty. After work, Sonny and I went to Taco Bell and stayed at his house and watched Metalocalypse. Sunday I had exchanged my shift with Fallon so I worked six to ten and she worked Christmas Eve for me. I spent that day baking and cooking. I happened to kick my foot fairly badly on the door and thought I had broken my toe. Fortunately, it only seems to be a sprain.

I turn you over and look in your eyes,

December 25-26: On Christmas day, I got up and dressed and went downstairs. I ate dinner with the family and then we opened our gifts. I got nearly everything I had requested [as usual] and a few interesting things I hadn't. I did get my DDR set but couldn't play because of the injured foot. I chilled in my room for a while and then helped BahBah with lunch. After we ate, we stayed around the house for a few hours and then Erik, Ashley, and I went to grandmother's house for those celebrations. I received money and a chia pet there. My grandmother remembered me mentioning that I had always wanted one; it made me quite happy. We all sat around and chatted and ate snacks for a few hours before we left. I was so mad all day because the stores were closed and I needed a few things. The following day I worked from twelve to four thirty. Before work I had run to Macy's and bought and adorable off-the-shoulder black sweater. After work I got a few things I needed at Target but didn’t' dare go to Ukrop's.

Promise you that this is forever

December 27-30: Thursday I went to Walmart to grab a few things I had forgotten and made cookies before I went to Sonny's house. He wasn't there when I arrived so I chatted with Lynn and then went to sit inside with Travis and Rachel. I had brought a large platter of treats and Kevin swore they said 'Not For Kevin' on the top though I promised they didn't. He asked me specifically if he could eat it and I told him he could. Sonny arrived and I waited for him to shower and shave. After he did that, we went to his room and watched Saw IV since we hadn't gotten to. Friday I worked five thirty to ten thirty, Saturday I worked two to ten thirty, and Sunday I worked two to seven.

Or till one of us dies.

December 31: I worked two to seven on New Year's Eve. I had wanted to go out to eat all weekend, but I couldn't find anybody to join me. I was so depressed that night. I ordered pizza and chilled at the house with Erik, Ashley, and Whiplash. I was drinking daiquiri malt when the doorbell rang and I ran to answer it. The man told me it was the fastest response time he had ever seen. I ran back to the kitchen and greedily ate my pizza. I finished the daiquiri malt I was working on and opened another. Ashley had opened a Jack Daniel's Lemonade and didn’t' like it, so I sat with the daiquiri in one hand and the lemonade in the other and drank them. After I finished both of those, I decided I wanted a Kahlua shake so Erik and I made those. I didn't realize how strong the liqueur was so I ended up with a huge shake which I drank out of the blender. Jeremy had called so I talked to him while drinking and talking and later while I was on AIM. I had to help Josh open the next morning so I went to bed shortly after midnight feeling only tipsy.

You taste like tear stains

January 1-7: On New Year's Day I worked from nine to five. Wednesday was the first day back from school and Thursday was uneventful. On Friday Kitty and I went to Shoe Carnival and then to O Charley's. We sat in the bar area and ate our food. I was so excited to be dining out that I ate way too much. We made up a song about faking our birthday to get free cake. After dinner, we went to my house and made chocolate peanut butter cupcakes, oreo cupcakes, and sambusak. Oscar called and he joined us. After we finished cleaning up, we watched Spice World. Saturday I worked one to nine thirty and Sunday I helped BahBah clean the garage out and played DDR finally. I didn’t' do too badly. Monday I worked from five to nine thirty.

And could have beens,

January 8-9: I had tried to twitch shifts with Jay Bear on Tuesday since it was my three month anniversary, but I didn't get in touch with him in time. Since I didn't get to finish my homework, I went in to school late on Wednesday and we didn't discuss the work that day. After school, Sonny came over and we sat on my sofa in near silence. I got up and went to my room to get my shoes and then motioned for Sonny to follow me outside. I told him that we should take a drive so we jumped in the car. We went to Kitty's and picked her up. She was supposed to go with Evan to Sammy and Andrew's so we went there. I got to see my brother and Kitty finally got to meet him. Andrew and Sonny immediately started playing guitar hero so Kitty and I went to sit outside. Oscar called and asked if we wanted to go do something. I walked inside and asked Sonny for the keys since we had left our purses in his car. He thought we were leaving and I told him he could stay. I hugged Andrew and ran out to the car. I was getting it unlocked when Sonny came out to tell me that it only opened one door. I got our purses and walked to where Kitty was talking with Sammy and Evan. Oscar pulled up and we hopped in. We went to Wawa and then drove around the block and back to Wawa. We went to Kitty's house and chilled watching television.

But I love a good train wreck.

January 10: Thursday I stayed home. I went to the doctor that morning to get a physical. It took me over two hours because I couldn't piss in that damn cup and they can't do anything until I do that. It really didn't make sense, but whatever. They told me that I'm not anemic [it could be thyroids], it is keratosis pilaris, and that I can take pills for a gastric ulcer. After that I went with Erik and Ashley to KFC-Taco Bell for lunch. I finished my art history work and a few other things that night. I returned Sonny's phone call; he was upset and said we should take a break. I believe more in 'break-up' or 'not at all' but I wasn't really in the mindset to discuss anything so I said something like "That's fine, whatever."

Your hair balled up inside my fist,

January 11: Friday after school Kitty, Pareesa, and I went to Hot Topic to pick up my schedule and then Michael's. We got supplies to decorate tee shirts for Prom Queen. Back at my house, we ate dinner that my brother had made. After dinner, we went to my room and I gave them the two bags of clothes I had, we went through my jewelry, nail polish, shoes, and a box of assorted things. I got rid of a lot more and they took some. We then went downstairs to work on tee shirts. We had a common design, but each was slightly different. Sonny called while we were working and asked if I had checked Myspace and I told him that I hadn't. He said he had sent me a message that would make me giggle so I should check. I did when I went upstairs. A confession letter; he loves me. I returned to Kitty and Pareesa and we nearly finished the shirts. The fabric markers were dying quickly, so I gave Pareesa the other markers I had found and she took hers home. I called Sonny back after I got home and took my shower.

You tell me don't get too attatched

January 12: Saturday I spent the day around the house cleaning out my room. Theodore called and asked if he could stop by, I said he could so we stood and chatted for a short while. BahBah and Erik arrived with another load of mulch and Erik handed Theodore a fork and told him to help. I told him they would be fine, but Theodore helped regardless. BahBah called me a player and stuck his hand out [to get some 'skin']. I returned inside and cleaned the kitchen and then went back to my room. I left to take Kitty to work [there was a big fight with her parents] and returned home and went back to work. Theodore sat with me a while until Sonny called. I sent him home after that and went back to work. Sonny came over after he took a nap and we watched 'Spirited Away' and 'Princess Mononoke'. I made fried rice between the two and fell asleep during the latter one.

Like this is just entertainment.

January 13-15: Sunday I slept in late. When I got up, I went with BahBah to run errands. We went to Waffle House for lunch and then went to Walmart and the mall. After the errands, I worked on homework for the rest of the night. I did my current event and finished all of Othello using Spark Notes. Monday after school I had work. I made a sale of five hundred twenty-two dollars and sixty-three cents. That was enough to nearly double what we had made that day and almost make plan for the night. I made a few more big sales and we beat plan. Deb [our district manager] was there and congratulated me and told Josh to show me how to send out an email about it. Cyndi [our regional manager] sent a reply email congratulating me. Deb had me tell Lisa and Chantal when they showed up. Deb ordered us pizzas and bought drinks since most of us would be there until early the next morning for inventory. Before I left, I worked on precounting. After work, I went home and worked on this blog. Today after school I finished this blog and will likely play a game for a while; as a treat for being ahead.

Then again it could go up in flames,

Unfortunately, however, I've reverted back to the whole 'anorexic-binge-eating-whore' thing. I'm just not hungry very often. When I am, I never feel like eating; it just isn’t' appealing. Some nights I eat just to keep up appearances for the people that bitch and worry. I ate a piece of bread one night and hated myself for it. I was afraid I'd eat more that night if I didn't trick myself into being full. I didn't want to hate myself all the more. I knew I would feel ill after I ate and would be mad because I already knew that I would feel that way and I did it nonetheless. It's so confusing. There are all sorts of food in the refrigerator and none of it appeals to me. It's almost depressing. We found a piece of land. And we've got our builder to put a contract on it. We've finished the house plans and picked major elements of the house. So we should be moving in by the second week in June. I'm really excited. That's why we've been so busy cleaning and disposing of things. We're in 'purge' mode again. I'm getting down to sheer 'necessity' and it delights me.  

And I'll take you down in the name of love.

Maybe one last kiss just to ease the pain

All or nothing it's written in blood

 Every morning I wake up

Monday I don't really remember what happened that day. Kitty and I were supposed to go to Sonny's house and get drunk. Sonny called me that afternoon to tell me that some chick would be there with Kevin. I told Kitty and she said she was fine. She assured me that she would be fine. She and I went to my house and made more oreo things and then went to Sonny's. First she and I wrestled for a while on the sofa. She kept hitting me with her collar so I took my studded belt off and chased her with it. We ran outside and I popped her on her inner thigh. I walked back inside triumphantly. She came back in and we decided to go outside and jump on the trampoline. We jumped around and sang and shouted and growled and commenced with more beatings. Sonny and Lee joined us outside to continue watching our antics. Kitty hit me a few times with her collar and I smacked her boob really hard. She doubled over for that one. I sat hitting myself in the back with my belt while we all sat there.

With a new identity

Kitty began to get angry and started throwing a little fit. She got up and started walking. I chased after her but had to run back to get my boots. I walked with her down the road while she whined and complained about how tragic her life is, once again. We got back and sat on the deck. Sonny and Lee tried to give her some advice and cheer her up a bit, but she began her rant again. I was so annoyed I went to my trunk and sat for a few moments. In that time, it felt like the world had stopped. I was so dizzy that nothing felt real. I got out of the trunk walked back to the deck and said "Let's go." Sonny went and got my things from inside and walked me to my car. We rode in silence. I didn't say goodbye. Sonny called me that night and we talked for a long while.

With some new memories

Tuesday there was no school because of elections. I didn't have much to do that day so I slept. After Sorian left school [he had gone to work on his project], I met him at his house. We went to an Asian market to get things for dinner. He saw people he knew there and a few relatives. The cashier gave me a discount. We went to his house to grab the last few things and then went to my house to cook. He started cutting chicken while I prepared other things. He stirred the sauce while I chopped vegetables and threw things in. He fried the chicken and I made fried rice. We used so many dishes. After dinner [which everybody loved] we made cookies. It was my turn to tell him what to do so I directed and he did. I gave him cookies to take home with him when he left. Shortly after he left, I heard one of our cell phones ringing. I walked around trying to find it, but I couldn't pinpoint the location. I then realized it was my phone in my back pocket. It was a message from Sorian telling me how excited his father was to see him and ask about his new girlfriend [me] and how his mother ate all the cookies.

Of my former life

Wednesday I didn't talk to Kitty very much. She received limited responses and no enthusiasm. I was supposed to go hang out with Sonny that night, but I got a bad stomach ache. I made Kevin cookies for his birthday and tried to eat some dinner as per Sonny's suggestion. Alas, it made me feel worse. I lay on my bed talking to him for the rest of the evening. He had a stomach ache as well and could not get warm [as are my usual symptoms]. We were both fairly pitiful that evening.

All the thoughts I ever had

Thursday I talked to Kitty a bit. I had work that evening. Friday was our Veteran's Day assembly. I finished some history work in Keyboarding and scoured the internet for hoodies and clothing in English. The assembly was really boring and so damn long. I was going to draw or do something else during it, but there were two teachers on the row in front of me so I could not. After school, I got Kitty and went to the bank and Walmart. On the way to Walmart, Kitty was scratching at the window and scared some old lady and a  redneck. At WalMart, we tried to tell the lady [who spoke very little English] what sort of cake I wanted. They had no red velvet in the size that I wanted. So I ended up getting a yellow cake. It had hot pink and vivid red scalloped trim and blue sprinkles, but she sprayed the entire things with blue, turning the pink into a violet and gave the red black edges. She drew a spider web on top and added three plastic spiders. They had no energy drinks, so we got the cake and left.

All the memories I can recite

We got lost on the way to Johnny's house, so I called him and he told us to meet him at the mall. We drove back and sat in the parking lot waiting for Johnny. She and I got out of the car and she shouted as we did so. We ran to the entrance laughing. Johnny appeared behind us and we said hello. We ran to the bathroom and back to Johnny. We went to our respective cars after deciding that he would lead us out. I had been having fits of anger all evening and shouting the entire way to Chesterfield. "Go! Why are you driving so slowly?!" "Green means go!" "Drive faster!" "Fucking fuck!" All of which were said in a loud voice or a high pitched one that was absolutely comical. As we sat in the parking lot, Kitty continued with my screaming as a group of scene kids walked by. One little scene boy was had just begun to walk away from his group when she screamed. He looked at us and ran. We drove off and passed the rest of the scene group. I pointed and laughed, Kitty screamed, and one scene girl flashed us. We followed Johnny to his house; Kitty and I laughed at his driving the entire way there.

Are just an illusion

At Johnny's, I fell out of the car laughing and Kitty followed suit. We climbed into Johnny's vehicle and tried to buckle our seatbelts. Unfortunately, the back seatbelts don't work, so we held onto one another. Johnny drove us to Prince George to get Joshy. That was our fist time meeting him. We went to Walmart to check for energy drinks, but they had none at that one either. We ran through electronics and fabrics. We played with tiny bikes and hula hoops and strutted off. Joshy ran across the tops of the shopping carts to touch a letter and then Johnny threw him on top of his vehicle. We went to Pizza Hut after that.

Implanted in my brain

We went inside and were seated. I was the only one ordering food [for myself and Kitty], but Johnny got breadsticks so the waitress would shut up. We discussed various things until our food arrived. Johhny said his breadsticks looked like somebody had rubbed their sweaty balls on them so we dubbed them 'Nut Sticks'. He also said mine weren't as bad, so it was probably just a vagina. Hell with what he said, they were delicious and crispy. So we then discussed how sweaty balls would still allow for them to be so crispy. We finished our meal and left. Johnny jumped through a bush and landed in a ditch. Kitty and I huddled in the back seat and we went back to Joshy's house. Kitty and I sat together while Johnny and Joshy played guitar and we all watched 'Chowder'. That show is like Foster's on drugs. It's pretty crazy. Joshy gave Kitty a back massage and we left. I was so cold and tired at that point, I fell asleep in the vehicle. Kitty gave me her hoodie as well, but I was still cold. I woke up to the sound of screeching tires. We had stalled, but we were alright.

And even the city changes

Back at Johnny's house, he gave us some directions to get home. Unfortunately, I still got us lost due to a confusion. We thought were going the right way, decided it was wrong and turned around. We stopped at a gas station and filled my car. Kitty went and asked for directions. Some girl was going to VCU campus and said we could follow her down there, but go straight after the second turn. We did this and learned that we had been going the proper way to begin with [almost]. We followed her downtown and stopped at a red light. I rolled my window down to thank her and she said I needed to make this turn and then continue straight. So she waited when the light turned green and let me get in front of her. Because of her kindness, I managed to get home [far later than expected].

With new buildings and new roads

Saturday I got up and got partially dressed before going down to breakfast. BahBah asked if I would help him at Kalmia that day and I agreed. Right after we finished cleaning up, Josh called and asked if I could cover a shift for a n00b that day. I agreed and Kitty and I ran to get ready. I dropped her off and went to work. At work I received two calls. One from Sonny and one from my mother. I checked them and tried to respond during my break, but there was no answer. After work, I went home and lounged about for a while. Sonny called and we established plans for the evening, at least basic ones. The plan was to get me a cheeseburger and go see Saw IV.

But I really cannot tell

I got there and we sat in his room and listened to music for a while. We then went down to Five Guys. I don't remember what I discussed, but I remember a conversation about sugar, double-dipping, and burger toppings. After our meal, we sat in his car to warm up and decide what to do next. We had a fair amount of time before the movie, but not enough to really do anything. So we went to Blockbuster and got Pan's Labyrinth and Pathfinder and returned to his house. We sat in Jacob's room and watched the movies before I had to leave and go home. Pan's Labyrinth was in Spanish with subtitles, had two plots intertwined, and a group of rebels. I raised my little fist and shouted 'viva la revolution!' I left at my designated time and went home.

If its just an illusion

Sunday I got up and went with BahBah to Kalmia. We stopped and got breakfast on the way. Upon our arrival, I turned the thermostat up and walked in circles until I was warm enough to work. I did a bit of sweeping before helping BahBah paint the bathroom. That was my first time painting and we did a pretty good job. I even helped hang hooks and holders. After we finished what we could, we left. I was supposed to meet my mother for lunch so I called her. There was no answer so I chilled at the house. I reinstalled the Sims 2 and began a new character [who looks like my old one]. I accomplished a fair amount with him that day.

Implanted illusions is all-

Monday was fairly normal. I went with BahBah that afternoon to finish Kalmia. We met the new tenants there and finished repairs. The two daughters kept staring at me. They smiled and waved though. I suppose they were simply curious. After a while, there was nothing left for me to do, so I played Block Breaker on my phone for a long while. I more than tripled my old high score. That game is really boring, but I didn't have anything else to do. After we left, I went home and at two breadsticks before working on history homework and the like. There was a shower and bed afterwards.

that I can remember

Tuesday was pretty good. I sat with Sorian in design and worked on my felting. I finished most of my three figures and layered most of the roving for the table. In history, we took two quizzes and notes. Before the end of the period, the fire alarm went off so we had to evacuate the building. I ate my crackers while we stood outside. I saw a fire truck and gave a shout of glee. Shortly after its arrival, we were allowed back inside. Unfortunately, it was a small electrical fire in the shop downstairs so no serious damage. There was a movie and an essay in fifth and a test in seventh. After school, I went home and tidied the house a bit and began some homework before Sorian got there. Upon his arrival, we made dinner for the five of us. He hadn't had homemade french toast or smokies before, but he enjoyed them. We sat and talked for a while after dinner during which time he instructed me on a few basic Chinese etiquette rules for the next week. He left and I worked on Art History homework until I took a shower.

Stolen thoughts of a time

Wednesday I wasn't feeling too great. I just wasn't in a great mood. After school I went with Aaron and Ryan to McDonald's. I got a McFlurry and they got various other things. Then we discussed how processed the meat was and whether or not a fetus was processed. I said fetuses could not possibly be processed because they're homegrown in a warm and loving environment. After our meal, we parted and I went home to chill with my headphones on. Thursday I was supposed to meet my mother for my belated birthday dinner after school. I forgot about art club so I went to that after I forgot again. In art club we were making an abstract piece. We all threw paint on a piece of canvas and then I got the idea that somebody should lay down on it. Sara took her shoes and such off and lay down. We threw paint all over her. As we were beginning to clean up, my phone rang. It was Alan calling to tell me that my mother had dislocated her jaw and would have to reschedule the dinner for another evening. Friday was a normal day. I went to work after school and talked to Sonny when he got home [as I do every night].

When I met you last November

Saturday morning I went to Sorian's house and we ate brunch. We had ginger pasta and meat buns. We watched some cheesy Asian vampire horror flick. We made a jasmine tea and I helped his father season ducks for Thanksgiving dinner. We ate a lunch of cheese and broccoli chicken kiev. After I left, I chilled at my house for a short while and then went to work. After work, Sonny and I decided to get together. I went to his house around midnight. He brought me nachos so I assembled a small portion and ate them. We watched television for a while before getting up to get drinks. I drank some gin and tonic and decided that it tasted bad without the lime so we went to Walmart to get me limes. Upon our arrival, we found somebody that Sonny knew and upon our leaving, we saw somebody that shopped at Hot Topic. We went back to his house and I tried to fix the proportions on my drink, but alas, I could not. It still had an odd alcohol-pine taste. We noticed that the tonic had expired so that accounted for some of it. I still drank it though. I began to get light-headed; a feeling which I'm quite fond of. We went upstairs and watched Eddie Izzard for a while. After a long while we slept.

Now, theres just confusion-

Sonny woke up in a cold sweat. He changed his shirt, sat for a while, and then went back to sleep. I awoke several times through then night and lay awake restlessly. Finally I got up and made certain that I was still pretty and crept back to the bed and lay there staring at the ceiling. After Sonny woke up, we watched The Labyrinth, music videos, a portion of Tenacious D, and Party Monster. I got so excited I almost creamed my jeans [ell oh fucking ell]. I finally left around four and chilled at my house for the rest of the day. I slept until that evening. I had been dizzy and had a stomach ache all day, so I tried to eat thinking that would make me feel a bit better. Alas, it did not. I felt worse than I had before. I lay back down and talked to Sonny for a while.

at this place without a sun

Monday I woke up feeling poorly. I had a tragic stomach ache and headache. I went to school though. Later my pains were accompanied by dizziness and nausea. I made it through the day and lay down as soon as I got home. Sonny and I were supposed to hang out that night, but I was certainly in no condition to do anything. He ran an errand and called me when he got back. We talked very briefly and I went back to sleep. I slept until nine thirty. I got up and took a shower and then went back to my bed and called Sonny. I still didn’t' feel well at that point. Lying down only made the pain worse [it was centered at the base of my sternum and felt like the flesh was being ripped from my bones by hand although it had begun to stretch across my body]. My other ailments had decreased in intensity slightly, though they still plagued me. My skin burned but my insides were cold; I was so tired and could sleep no more. I shook incessantly. I felt so bad that I wanted to cry. Sonny had been feeling poorly since Sunday as well, but he had been vomiting. He was extremely tired but insisted that he talk to me until I fell asleep. He finally got off the phone at three o'clock. I paced my room for a while before trying to sleep again. After and hour or so, I slept for about an hour and woke up again. I lay awake for an hour and slept for a few more minutes before my alarm went off.

I try so hard to escape

Tuesday I got up and got dressed for school after my restless night. I was ready for school twenty minutes earlier than usual. I still had a dreadful stomach ache but my spirits were oddly high. I was chipper throughout the day though plagues by pain and lacking sustenance. I had not eaten since Sunday evening. Everyone was a bit worried, but I refused all food. After school I met my mother for dinner. I was surprised to see my grandmother and Taylor there as well, but I was pleased. We went inside and ate. I tried to teach my mother Spanish while she showed the dog off to everyone. Dinner was delicious. They brought me fried ice cream which was fantastic. I'd not had it before and although it had coconut in the shell I still loved it. The waiter brought me balloons that my mother had them hide before dinner. We chatted for a long while before we all departed. I went to my grandmother's house and chatted with them for a while and got my birthday card. I left shortly thereafter and went home.

Theres no place to which to run

At home I was restless and decided to dye my hair. Diane accompanied me to Walmart to get the few groceries and hair dye and such. At home I was till angry that I had no place to park at my own damn house. I went inside and talked to Sonny briefly; he still felt bad as did I and he wanted to see me. I threw my laundry into the washer and dyed my hair and tidied the bathroom while I waited. I couldn't get the hair dye to wash out and I ran out of hot water before I could finish. I called Sonny after I finished all my tasks as I had said that I would. I still had the same symptoms as the night before [though not so greatly] and decided to walk. He came over to walk about with me.

And suddenly, it hits me

I met him outside and we walked around the block and sat on the ground. It was cold so we went and sat in his car for a short while and listened to music. When it was time for him to leave, his car wouldn't start. I walked back over and asked what the problem was. He tried again and it failed. We waited a while hoping the battery would charge enough for it to start. It didn't so I had to go get my car and give him a jump. It worked and he left. The entire night I was worried about Bahbah waking up and getting mad at me and possibly punishing me. My car was parked beside his bedroom, and Sonny's car is loud as fuck, so that was really bad. I crept back inside and hurriedly got into bed. I was shaking with cold and anxiousness and my continuing pains. Sonny called me when he got home as he said that he would. We talked for a while until about three o'clock.

That there was no sun for years

The illusions fade away

Making room for reality